~ Ephemeral Visage ~

Arctic Whispers It feels like the Arctic these days. Nice chilly weather, I must say, complete with howling winds and swishing sand scattering onto my window panes -- panes that doesn't seem shut tight enough to keep away the chill. Had a few updates of people around me, and I realise I really have to admit that despite me being able to keep my momentum in life, there are others who move much faster. Very much faster. At age 23, people around me are moving onto the next phase of life: Marriage, applying for flats, renovating flats, migrating, stock investment, etc. And I wonder: If they're doing these now at 23, what happens to them when they reach the (more common) age that most of us only just started to embarke on these events? I guess we would be expecting our friends to bring their kids to some of our weddings. (Note to self: Add some baby chairs at the banquet....) I'm not feeling appalled or surprise at this phenomenon. Just wondering what the future holds for an ind...

Lost dreaming in Winter. Its almost the end of another month. And i find myself writing almost reluctantly...because im afraid of what may come out from my current state of mind. Believe it or not, I'm typing with my eyes closed, trying not to re-read what I've typed, trying not to hear the words that forms in my head before I release them out letter by letter onto the keyboard. So forgive me for my bad typing, if any. Each time I arrive at my blogger page, I tell myself its time to update an entry or two. Some days the urge to write is stronger, while some days.... I just run away from it. I tell myself to stop whenever I feel it's too much. Yet once I start, I simply can't seem to stop typing. It's sickening to lose control like this. Frustrating too. Msn is popping up with online alerts of people flooding in for chats at this time of the day. I wonder if all of them are at least talking to one or two friends. And I realised it's been some time since I've...

October...leaves. October: Also known as the "The month of farewells", because of the Earth's gradual transition into winter. My my. It's been more than a month since my last entry. Probably one of the longest time period spent away from my murmur page, well, mainly because I have no time for murmurings. Nor complaints. No time to formulate bitching into words. Just that constant nigging and irritation at all of it. But today's different. I just finished the bulk of my assignments. Have been looking real forward to today. I guess I could have done a yippie jump if not for the fact i was carrying my lappy in a huge haversack as I stepped out of my last QED502 tutorial. Well... I don't exactly detest the lesson, nor the tutor. Just that it's on a monday morning, you know, the traffic sux, monday blues, and its bloody 830am. And I don't really think there's time in the real world to apply what we have learnt so far. And the assignment... lets me revi...

Learning. Been learning alot about life, myself, and what Shakespeare meant by "The world's a stage". Been exposed to so many different kinds of people, different lifestyles, different stages of lives, personalities, different thresholds of handling events. The world's a stage yes, with countless actors playing their parts; So indulged are they in their roles, that they are utterly commited into believing they do lead that life. Each reaction and counter-reaction relies on the other actors in the same scene. How good your play is, therefore depends on how good your entire cast is. You can always audition for another play if you think your current cast sucks, but that is dependent on whether the actors in the other play deem you up to their standards. I've been asked time and again why I chose this profession. And each time I find myself coming up with different reasons. Yet each of these reasons touch a little bit on what I feel is the real reason, but at the same...

Sights and sounds. Have been taking a lot of bus and train these days...so naturally i'm seeing more buzz, sights and sounds around. I know the feeling to be able to get a seat on the bus or train, I know the feeling of squeezing with the morning crowd, and believe me when I say I know the feeling of waiting for the bus that never comes. First two weeks of school has lapsed; Things are still looking pretty fine so far. Though I had to study grammar every single day during those two weeks, the tutor made me not mind going on those weird time slots the screwed-up admin people arranged. Just the other day I heard someone (not from my class) mention that she had a crush on my tutor! Haha. Well I do admit he's somewhat charming....always so polite, friendly, and that goat-ee screams personality. Interesting. But hey, I don't eye (albeit young)married guys. Went back to rag yesterday for the first time this year. Yes yes, I'm guilty of inactivity, but really, I have too many ...

Tis the season....to graduate again. Attended convo 2007 yesterday to be pp's attendant/photographer(that's the grad bear I got him! Nice?) and got more than I'd expected. Saw many familiar faces that brought a spark of joy hitherto unexpected; Those of Rosie, Chinny, Jiali, Peiling, Alice, Apple, Weisheng, Steve...and a couple more peepz whose names escape me. My senior, whose name I shan't mention, won awards not shy in comparison to the valedictorian (hmm he was the backup valedictorian!) was in super high spirits, that one could attribute him as being simply intoxicated. Hmm. Because there was no extra tix to be balloted this time round, the group of us who has graduated last yr gathered at a table in the cafe, to prepare for mobilization for the phototaking frenzy after the ceremony. It was nice catching up, talking about everything and anything, yet nothing at all. It was just like the good old times, at rag, at the club room, and at the camps. Didn't realise...

"Stay" ~ Tonya Mitchell. I've must have been blind Not to see you look away from me Whenever you say You love me still I must have been crazy Not to see you slip away from me Day after day there's a space to fill and I can't find the words, to make you fall in love with me again and I can't find the strength to let you go And when it's all said and done, you'll be the only one Even if there's nothing left for us to say as sure as the sun will rise I can never say goodbye Even if we go our separate ways In my heart you'll always stay Been spending my time to try to remind you of our love But you're pulling away with every touch With all we've been though I'd never thought i'd be losing you and i would give everything to keep you here But I can't find the words to make you fall in love with me again and I can't find the strength to let you go And when it's all said and done, you'll be the only one Even if there...

Listening to -- Dreamcatcher, Secret Garden . ... I wonder if its the music that sets the mood, or the mood that triggers the choice of songs. Usually at the first signs of melancholy, I'll have the urge to put on Secret Garden and drift away. Whether it helps that I'm indulging myself in the depths of mellowness, it beats doing nothing to this current state of moodiness. Feeling low probably due to insufficient sleep: Slept around 6am this morning after returning from a wedding banquet followed by clubbing at dblo. But I was shortly awaken by a din from the family, arguing about the lack of commitment to study. At least that's what I caught, while desperately trying to re-hop onto the dreamwagon that was speeding further and further away from me. And then I woke up and left, like a doxy from a wharfs, not sure of it too myself why I chose to leave. Just as I stepped out, it rained, with the chirpy sun still smiling down at me. I borrowed a brolly and walked on. Trotting in...

Mounting the steps, I hope. The farther we climb, the harder we fall...if we slip. That was the chance I took, so full of confidence that everything would be alright. Because this one felt so right, I bundled only a few memories and jumped the wagon before It realised I was gone. And I never looked back, not even those quiet nights when I was left alone. I just lived life ever since that day. Yes, I never looked back, because my guts told me this was right, and it was what that would liberate me. It was literal when I told pp right from the start that he changed my world. Things are really different. Very different. But through yesterday, I regretfully realise that this new world of mine, is a contract held together with a sole clause -- Pp must be in it. Yesterday wasn't all that good. Maybe it was pms, maybe it was all the planning and stuff.... I don't know. But as the day wore on, my mood dipped to an ultra low. The tipping point came eventually, where both of us got upset...

Days. Having slightly more time to myself these days, much to the envy of many. I know my friends will pop their eyes when they hear that I'm actually doing housework voluntarily. But aint half bad actually. Took a while to figure out how to dance with the vacuum cleaner, cook, and I actually like mopping the floor because it's just like painting on a canvas. Driving is still going on, and I gave rei the driving mama's contact. Hope things go well for her too! Then soon we'll be driving out for suppers. With qy... and speaking of the ones graduating, I'm so happy for them! Qy if you're free enough to read this entry... do tell me when ur convo date is... I'll wrap you some pweety frowers~~~ Last night I lay in bed, thinking back about life, friends, and achievements. I'm glad I managed to accomplish so many things those years back. In a way I've led a fulfilling life, threefolds of many I know whose life has been just the way it is up right to now. I...

Before I begin updates on life these days, I'll like to first congratulate all honors students in the end of their thesis burden. Yay! Its finally over peepz. Go for your post-thesis celebration! Play! Catch up on those Zzs! Put eye packs on those eye bags! Ask me out! Anything! haha.... 1 x job well done. Started practical driving lessons proper, and things are progressing not bad. Soon I shall go check out the exam dates available and snag my licence before my birthday (refuse to renew my pdl). The instructress is pretty cool....she doesnt scold, kinda like a old encouraging mama. Anyone who wants her number for lessons, sms me. Pp landed a job with Amex, and I'm having my impt interview tml. Hope things are gg to turn out well. So fast it's been a year of playing and slacking with pp, right from the start of hectic msn-ing, to picking me up in his cute bike in sch. then late night suppers and panda eyes, family outings blah blah blah. woooh. I guess if time passes as fas...

Just finished watching Ugly Betty. I like the show, given my bias towards the cynism of the fashion industry all along. (Though its another cliched plot of how things turn miraculously towards a happy ending for ugly-girl-with-sincere-heart.) It brought a little warmth back into my heart.... knowing that sometimes good things really happen to those who are sincere/determined. Never mind the odds, but... im just happy to be able to raise an objection to my cynical side today. Went Bishan park today for the first time. It's a real big park, I don't know where it begins or ends. There is this dog park there, a plot of enclosed land of average size for dogs to interact and dog owners to sit and relax, watching their dogs run around proudly. Lots of bladers and cyclists. Great weather for kite flying too. After the walk at the park we went J8, and saw this Hahacrabs. They're just hermit crabs, fabulolized. My guess is these entrepreneurs went around catching some hermit crabs, p...

Photos! Ok as promised.... I'm uploading pp's birthday celebration pics once I got my hands on them. Hee... This is the Cheng Ho cruise boat that we took to Kusu island....its called CHENG Ho II~ They serve refreshments.... like cakes and muffins, puffs and tea! Haha can see that we were greedy..... *ahem* very Very clear waters...

Happy Birthday! Celebrated pp's birthday on monday.... went to kusu island via the Cheng Ho cruise ship. Other than the stopover at kusu being too short, it was a rewarding and fun trip. The beachshore there was shallow and clear, not like the murky irky waters in east coast or sentosa. I saw a dark shape scurrying off from the edge of the shore. First impression could be a horseshoe crab, but it turned out to be a huge school of fish. That's how clear the water was, to be able to count how many fishes there were in that school. =) Saw a HUGE sea turtle too near the shrine, and many many small terrapins in the tortoise sanctuary. There was this wishing well without coins... but we threw coins in nevertheless. It's one small island, unspoilt despite the human development, and my next target for offshore bbq/camping activity. So... doodling around wishing and taking photos, we forgot the time to board the ship... until we heard it honking away. It was pretty scary when we rai...

Chinchilla I still remember when chinchillas were all the craze back then in sec school, the bunch of us will go to the pet shop at the back of jec to watch the little bundles. They cost a bomb, including the cage, special feed and hairbrushes, coat care shampoos etc, and those who managed to get one are considered rich, and the envy of many. These furry little creatures... cute as they are, became a big joke when news that upon fright, would shed fur and have diarrhea. It was all over the news. The craze took a nosedive from then onwards...... and the rich kids could showoff no more. Haha... THE END. Well... enough of the reminiscing. They are cute, I must admit.

Another new month. To quote from a special source, "it was march not long ago". I guess he was referring to that special someone... or that special event that took place in march. Come to think of it... I think it was march when he confided in me. And though what I know of it is only the tip of an iceberg... it felt special to be his confidante. Though that too, didn't last long. I like this picture... it's so cute, isn't it? Was looking through pictures on deviantArt and downloaded quite a number of nice pictures. Then I decided to change a skin for this blog... but couldn't seem to find a nicer one than my current skin. Shall keep this for the time being then. I have some ideas to start my own business... just need to sit down someday and work out the cost-revenue analysis. It may sound really viable to execute the half-formed plans in my head, but then as I run through the day's routine, I started to put the ideas through a more rational filter...... it...

Chinese New Year I was contemplating what picture to put for this entry, and angpaos, liondance, oranges and fireworks came into mind. Eventually I chose hanabi (fireworks in jap) because I like it most amongst the list, nevermind the all-encompassing usage in any other festivals in Singapore. Especially ever since they had the stretch outside Esplanade to play fireworks with. Well.... I'll expect all that to change when IR is erected. Today started out okay, just like every other year. Relatives arriving, giving red packets, the bunch of us with ping and yan playing cards, majong etc. Lotsa lotsa food.... I keep feeding ping tidbits, tempting her to eat those non-vegetarian stuff. I get a cheap thrill out of that. Then we moved on to uncle sunny's house, where the card playing continued. Oh and Hz jie jie's shoe spoilt along the way... the soles were gaping wide, and if they could speak I bet they were squaking. AFter dinner my aunt (ping and yan's mother) wanted to g...

St James PowerStation 2nd escapade Felt like going out on wed night... and while most ppl would think of heading down to mambo, I'd felt for smth classier. Hence decided to head out for a live band... only to realise momo's live band switched to only fri and sats. After some research we decided to give st james another try... hmm.. the first time pp and i went st james was just to check out the place since our friends were talking about it -- you know the idea that it's converted from a old firestation to a club, housing 9 different themes.. blah blah. When we first got there we were disoriented even though only 3 of the 9 theme rooms were open -- Dragonfly, Movida and Mono. Dragonfly gave me the most lasting impression from the first visit there... simply because of the culture and crowd. haha.. at first we were enjoying the retro music... feeling whimsy that we're not dressed to dance (i went from work), when suddenly a canto pop grp went on stage. It was hilarious, f...