~ Ephemeral Visage ~

Shivering, I know naught whether from the chilling breeze, Or nostalgia of an inner bonding I knew That'd once been a familiar tune. Three scorched hearts, aimed for healing.. A promise we gave each other, it would seem. Lined ashore, Like beached whales in tow, We laid, heads almost touching, Shoulders almost touching, Hearts almost touching. The stars so shy up high We can't see your flaws tonight So tell me why.... do you hide? The water so dark below I love your lovely reflections so, Hey, please would you cease to flow? If only Time could stand still then. A decision made, Though the wound cuts deep/clean, The leaf falls froms tree even in absence of the wind. Though we haven't a history with each other, Let us maketh a Future together So that stories dont only have You or Me , And let that be Our History.

There she was... a glimpse out of nowhere.. a holograph given flesh, walking past me, Sparing nary a glance my way. Wrapped in a pink shawl, heeled sandles, spag and naturally black straight long hair, she screams feminism. Conversely, I was in flare pants, cheeky shoes, three-quart sleeved collar shirt. Hair a rebellious brown and gold-tipped. No one would have thought we know each other. But I know her, she knows me. We're different as night is from day. But I know her, She knows me, All because of a guy jt.

Xmas xmas xmas songS.... Wonderful, aren't they? Especially now when I know all along I've liked Jazz... "To me, Jazz and christmas always go together..." *smiles* An apt analogy he used to appeal for understanding... No, like what I've said, no one's gonna be able to force him To do what he doesn't want to, nor not ready to. Especially not me. It's strange how people are able to change over these years, The relationship that were there initially but never explored Due to teenage awkwardness. All these years I've been wondering what became of us few childhood friends, Now I've finally got the answer. Perhaps this is a little hint from Time to tell me to wait for her To finish her healing/what she has in mind to do, Before attempting stuff that would blow the entire situation away. If so, this leaf shall wait ever so patiently, Withholding her feelings from the tree, until Time proves right.

Finished the 2nd paper today, Not very well done, but that's what I deserve i guess, For not attending lab sessions, lectures, last min revisions.. But did enough not to fail. And as long as I'm still smiling, I'm contented. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Missing a tune you play so well for my heart, Missing the beats you drum silently onto me. You say you don't know music well, But look, what melody you play... That led me Dancing through the night for you. Will you play, tonight? Just for me.....

So fast... so fast... It's Christmas again. It seemed only last year it was cold and lonely, The rain pelting down harshly, drowned out my whimpers. This year.....things are different... The people are different. I'm different. And probably the whole blardy world is too. I'm not entirely happy now due to several happenings these days But then again, compared to last year, Things sure look prettier and brighter 'round here. Sleep tight, my friends, Let's share our tomorrows together.

He said "sorry"... Dare I ask him whether that Sorry is for not loving me, Or for making me think that there was a possibilty Or was it only for the sms(es)? each time the tide crashes me against the shore, I succumb more and more to the tug of the backwash I am afraid of reaching out.. Believing less and less that I'm able to swim to shore. Hence I am floating in the tidal zone.. Drifting with e Swash... Backwash... ~~~Swash~~~Backwash~~~ Afraid to reach out to shore. believing less and less that I'm able to swim to shore.

He knows.. And he extricated himself. He left. It's the howling of the emptiness and Cold That confirmed Love once existed... Very soon, I won't even be able to watch The footprints he's left in the snow.

As you stand lonely in front of me The melancholy that flows from your back captivates me I want to embrace you with a nonchalant love Beneath your smiling face Only unbelievable words are baring their fangs You are looking for love in those fragments One day, a selfish voice humming a song will reach you And in that very moment this world is going to change What are we going to find By shredding time I will be by your side If that is gentleness What are we going to set our eyes on? The truth that you grabbed By extending your hand Let it go Let us trust each other The way you gaze at a spot far away means you're listening to the voice of your heart and still holding the blue moon. Your strength, shown in your will to keep on running Will open yet another new door Light up the night which will soon go Even if I am alone, I want to believe in you In that very moment this world starts to go round What are we going to find By spitting out our hea...

I know all along it has been me and my hormones.. Haha. I think it's time to wake up from my small world And take a look from the bigger picture outside in. This is another lesson he taught me indirectly, Without words, nor any special incident happening, He made learning this valuable lesson possible, With the posting of a photograph on Friendster That reminded me I'm not the only female around. There's a world full of beautiful stuff out there, People, Nature, Art. Having a beautiful face is just not enough anymore. Time to wake up...*piak piak* And start holdin on to sanity.

He's The first to tell me I'm not the person he supposingly know, Yet does not keep his distance. He isn't so full of himself that he judges my duo personality traits, One whom I didn't expect a sms from but was happy when it came. "Hey thanks for the company man, I had a great day... tell me when you reach home..ok..just wanna know you're safe." Such simple words, often received from many of the ppl I know around me, But from him, I'm surprised that he cares. He knows what he wants in life, even from the start of his jc life, And that is an achievement cuz he's been able to establish his stand, And lead, plus maintain the life he wants to, ever since then, which is nearly 6 years ago. Other than this, he's admirable for his vast knowledge, supersonic memory, As well as the passion for life; The impetus to at least try everything once. This enthusiasm for maxing out life is contagious.. I feel my days less bleak when he's...

I saw dear Ben's photo on last week's Sunday Times, Posing for the columnist under his article "Shoulders To Die For". The picture was almost half a page.. imagine my reaction when i flipped the page~ WOW!. Hohoho... of course I cut it out.. Though I haven't the faintest idea where to paste/keep it. He looks thinner than before, maybe his playworks were stressful, Or was it just the camera and the lights.. Realised I missed him.. missed dancing, with him, and watching him. Hope he's doing well... But then again, people are always doing well/better without me.. oh well~~ *shrugs*